You: “Leave me the hell alone.”
That voice in your head: “be careful what you wish for.”
You: “No! Wait…”
You’d sure like to know what is going on with you, wouldn’t you? You judge your own past as some sorry tale of exactly what NOT to do to have happy relationships.
But even though you’ve had several… many… more than a handful…. relationships, you have not exactly been relationship hopping. i.e., You have never had to have someone else lined up first, before you were prepared to leave.
…the fact that you have generally been The Dumpee aside.
And because you have had… well, you could only really call them droughts. Plural.
Long, lonely, frustrating droughts.
So, you can be alone. You even see the upsides of it: Not having to share closet space. Only cleaning up after yourself. Eggs, oatmeal or any breakfast for supper.
You are okay being on your own. You are strong and independent. Thank you very much.
You’d just rather not be.
And you’re certainly not scared to be.
You are not scared to be alone.
Well… maybe. Just a little.
But it’s not just romantic relationships. You see the pattern elsewhere. Friendships that don’t seem to stick. Like, you’re not tight anymore with the old gang from high school, who are apparently still doing all kinds of fun, cool-looking things together 20 and 30 years later. (Thank you, Facebook, for the photographic evidence.)
Family is family, so they’re always there in a certain capacity.
Coworkers that are all business.
So, why do you feel like such a walking contradiction?
Your track record might suggest to that casual observer with no filter for their judgments that you’re scared to be on your own. Perhaps even laying down their predictions that YOU WILL ALWAYS BE ALONE.
…until you get real – realistic – about what a functional, happy, healthy relationship is even about.
But the way things are going in your life presently and in your current headspace, you’d just really love for everyone to fuck right off and leave you the hell alone, already.
Sometimes being alone is the easy part.
It’s letting someone in again
that’s the real bitch.
So do you truly want to be alone? Or are you emotionally tapped-out?
So many times, relationships are described as a compromise. As a give-and-take.
Does taking feel just icky and selfish to you?
How many times have you heard it on the radio or been in the drive-thru line yourself, and the vehicle in front of you buys your coffee, or whatever. The whole random act of kindness. Do you automatically feel obligated to continue the chain, to pay it forward?
What if no one accepted the gesture? What becomes of the whole concept then?
So, what if you reframed that give-and-take to GIVE-AND-RECEIVE?
Are you able to receive?
How are you at accepting a compliment? At graciously accepting a gift?
Isn’t it time you give yourself permission?
Because it is high time you face it, Sweetie…
You are unique. You are irreplaceable. You are memorable. You are worthy.
You are lovable
For those times when you’re feeling lonely and want to connect other women who understand where you’ve been, what you’re going through and who you are striving to become, join the Facebook be THAT woman support community.