Time bends to no one (so stop holding your breath)
Time really is the great equalizer, is it not? 1440… Regardless of our age, race, ethnicity, gender identity, sexual orientation, occupation, income bracket, marital status, religious or political affiliation, state of health or any other demographic that can be...
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The legacy of a childless woman
Just like one of my all-time favourite movies “Pain and Gain,” it might be hard to believe… but what follows is based on a true story. “Hi. My name is Patricia. I need a codependent agreement, please.” No, I was not attending an AA meeting. Though I wouldn’t fault you...
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12 steps to your perfectly imperfect Christmas
Or would it be imperfectly perfect? Anyway… It’s a snowy and grey beginning to December as I begin writing this, and it definitely is a bit of a winter wonderland here the last couple days to help create the mood. Despite a Hallmark movie image and the grand plan in...
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how to cure a vulnerability hangover
Some people – me in full-on sassy mode, included -- might argue that answering a question with a question is somewhat of a skill, an art all its own, deserving to be honed, mastered and praised. I suspect the person on the receiving end of said saucy retort might beg...
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The downfall of intelligent women everywhere
Seriously now… you really could stand to toot your horn more often, you know. You are freaking smart. You're savvy. And -- very often -- downright sassy. You’re decently educated, boast a sizable personal library of books covering diverse topics that have survived the...
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Mom & my mid-life crisis
Aren’t there just certain things in this world that we feel we have to be grateful for? And doesn’t it usually take a minute to come up with a reason why? Because, right off the hop, frankly, they pretty much suck big-time? Taxes …because that means we have an income....
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7 signs of a recovering perfectionist
As originally published by simply... woman! online magazine August 15th, 2016 Click here to view. You think that having it all somehow includes being “perfect,” don’t you? That your happiness and having your happily-ever-after depends on your discipline and commitment...
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15 habits of a woman who’s got her shit together
As originally published by simply... woman! online magazine July 18, 2016 Click here to view Do you think you’re a hot mess??? You’re smart. You have your own place. A home. Your bills are paid. You take vacations. You have the solid foundation of a kickass boot...
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My Dirty Little Secret
"They” say -- yes, the supposedly ever-wise “they” – that “I am” are two of the most powerful words you can put out to the Universe. Because what comes after them forms your reality. Well, I am… a fraud. Yeah, doesn’t that statement just want to catch in the ol’...
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Mother’s Day Hangover
Don’t bears use up their fat reserves when they hibernate? Anyway… This is not the blog post I intended to come out of my self-imposed fall, winter AND spring isolation with. (But stay tuned for that coming soon) Plus, #I NEVER rant I do have a Twitter account, but I...
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The Contradiction
You: “Leave me the hell alone.” That voice in your head: “be careful what you wish for.” You: “No! Wait…” You’d sure like to know what is going on with you, wouldn’t you? You judge your own past as some sorry tale of exactly what NOT to do to have happy relationships....
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When your intuition can go fuck itself
What the fuck are you supposed to do? You’re staring down a(nother) major, potentially (surely) life-altering set of crossroads. Well-meaning idealistic people will tell you to follow your heart. Left-brained, logical types will caution you to stick to the facts, list...
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7 Life Lessons Learned from a Closet Purge
7 Life Lessons Learned from a Closet Purge I’d felt for a very long time that my wardrobe situation was an absolute freakin’ disaster, so I – though still begrudgingly – finally committed to purge my closet over the period of one week. Not only did I have a range of...
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5 Solid Reasons to Put Yourself into Dating Detox
5 Solid Reasons to Put Yourself into Dating Detox What words would it take for you to hear and acknowledge, that might initially set you off but then be your first clue that maybe it’s time to put yourself into Dating Detox? As counter-intuitive as it initially might...
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5 Ways NOT Having Kids Will Affect Your Life
5 Ways Not Having Kids Will Affect Your Life When someone describes themselves as a 40-something woman, never married, with no kids… What was the first thought that popped into your head? Let me hazard a guess. Is she barren? Okay. I personally just had a “Scarface”...
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7 Days to a More Confident You
7 Days to a More Confident You Why have you totally turtled? I mean, there you were… Puttering merrily along. Doing your thing. Feeling good. Feeling actually quite confident. Being busy just being you. Confidently being you. Until… bam! Whether you felt it sneaking...
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A Beginner’s Guide to Being That BADASS Woman
You are DONE being messed with, aren’t you? You’d bet your own ass That BADASS Woman doesn’t get messed with. That BADASS Woman isn’t sitting home with a fresh jar of peanut butter and a spoon, re-watching Brigit Jones in her skivvies because she’s hurt, sad and...
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How to LOVE yourself… when you HATE your body
How to LOVE yourself... when you HATE your body Jennifer Aniston certainly got my attention last week, airing her beef in the Huffington Post with all the pregnancy speculation, rumours, gossip, the paparazzi and the tabloids. Actually, I think she got a lot of...
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7 LIES to STOP Telling Yourself About You
7 lies, count them, 7 lies that you tell yourself about you. These are seriously bad juju when it comes to trying to love yourself. When you tell these 7 lies to yourself about you, you get in the f'ing way of being the best you ever. I could wax on and on about it,...
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1 Major Way Einstein was a Total Asshole
1 Major Way Einstein was a total Asshole Maybe you’ve seen it so many times now, it’s made you nearly wanna puke. "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein. F… F… S… I’m sure you would agree: Einstein was –...
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7 Practices To Pull Yourself Outta Your Pity Party
7 Practices to Pull Yourself Outta Your Pity Party Can you tell…? I’m a big fan of alliteration. It amuses me. And things got a little heavy around here the last week or so, so I’ll take whatever amusement I can get. Thank you very much. You know those days… when...
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5 ways an Independent Woman is NOT a Man-Hater
5 Ways an Independent Woman is NOT a Man-Hater When this isn’t your first rodeo… I don’t know about you, but I’m just not a fan of that saying. It’s been thrown my way more times than I care to count, and I find it kinda crass. Maybe the truth still hits too close to...
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3 Things that suck about going through a breakup that isn’t even yours
3 Things that SUCK about going through a Breakup that ISN'T even YOURS I just tried to Google what the current divorce rate is, and then I realized that I don’t even actually care. It’s just a number. It’s high. For Gwyneth and Chris’s “conscious uncoupling”… I think...
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Shit you really should have said, but didn’t
SHIT You Really SHOULD HAVE SAID, but didn't ♫ A little ditty, about Patty and Ex #2… ♫ Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as the song, but here goes... He used to say fairly often to me, about me “you wouldn’t say shit if you had a mouth full of it.” Like the...
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3 ways a trip to the doctor is kinda like going on a date
3 Ways a trip to the Doctor is kinda like going on a Date What would you say are some of the greatest perks about being a woman? The diversity of styles to choose from to express one’s self when it comes to fashion and trends comes to mind. Playing with hair and...
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3 reasons to STOP HIDING IN SHAME over your MISTAKES, already
3 Reasons to STOP HIDING in Shame over your Mistakes, already My dad is a smart man and an absolute demon on the Internet. As his not-so-tech-savvy daughter, but the one of us two who "grew up" with it, I do feel a certain responsibility to steer him towards reputable...
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5 beliefs of a Hopeless Romantic that are keeping you alone
5 Beliefs of a HOPELESS ROMANTIC that are Keeping You ALONE Maybe you would most adamantly declare that you have outgrown fairytales. But are you a fan of the chick flick/romantic comedy? Did you near cry tears for Brigit Jones over Daniel and root for her and Mark...
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3 Ways to Be THAT Woman
3 Ways to Be THAT Woman So, since the breakup, you've still been feeling kind of... well, off. You are doing so much better, though. Not wasting a lot of time or energy thinking about him. But you're getting restless. Feeling ready to move on with things. But you also...
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7 ways YOU’VE made GETTING DUMPED even HARDER on yourself
7 Ways You've Made GETTING DUMPED Even HARDER on Yourself My sister will be the first to tell you I have a great gift for stating the obvious. Breakups suck. Flat out. Period. Full stop. Especially when it wasn’t your idea. And if the breakup itself wasn’t bad enough,...
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5 ways YOU just might be the common denominator
5 ways YOU just might be the Common Denominator If you’ve been through hell… meaning, almost too many breakups to count… so many, that you are near convinced that you’re better at surviving them than you are at the relationships themselves… you’ve probably thought to...
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