7 Days to a More Confident You
Why have you totally turtled? I mean, there you were… Puttering merrily along. Doing your thing. Feeling good. Feeling actually quite confident. Being busy just being you. Confidently being you.
Until… bam! Whether you felt it sneaking up or whether it blindsided you outta nowhere, you got whacked upside the head by a hurtful comment, a change in your job, a fight, a breakup, a major hiccup in your status quo… something… someone… life.
And your confidence? Well, you’d describe it as pretty much shaky, at best. In the toilet, at its worst.
Surely, you can be forgiven for instantly instinctively retreating into your protective shell.
But you’re not meant to set up house and settle right in there for the long haul. In a mere 7 days, in these 7 ways, you can be back on your way to being that More Confident You.
Day 1: Wear your “good” underwear
That goes for all your stuff. Your fancy shoes and the special perfume and your beautiful bracelets. Load ‘em up. Because what exactly are you saving it for, anyway? A first date with someone you don’t even know yet? The occasions that only come around once a year?
You don’t have to earn the right to enjoy your nice things.
If it makes you feel good and pretty and sexy and happy… and whatever else… do it.
And then do even more of it.
Day 2: Be kind to yourself
You hear it everywhere, and all the time: Talk to yourself like you would to your best friend. …or to your precious, adorable little fur baby.
Okay. Just because you’re keeping that trash talk quiet in your own head, does not make it okay.
“Remember, you’ve been criticizing yourself
for years and it hasn’t worked.
Try approving of yourself
and see what happens.”
— Louise L. Hay, You Can Heal Your Life
Seriously… just stop being such an asshole to yourself already.
Day 3: Stop saying “I don’t know”
What do YOU think? What do YOU want? What do YOU want to do? How do YOU think this should be handled?
Have you ever noticed and counted just how many times someone asks you a question – even for your opinion — and before you even stop to think about it, purely out of habit, what pops outta your pie-hole but “I don’t know”?
Ye who speaks without hesitation
isn’t necessarily the smartest
Stop discounting yourself. You know a tonne, and more than you give yourself credit for, so stop acting like you’re not smart. About anything.
[See Day 2]
Just pause and take a breath and start with what you do know.
Day 4: Take small bites
Supposedly it’s good for your digestion, right? And as much as I care about your gut health, too, in this case, I mean take small bites of your goals. When the big picture is too overwhelming, that you get bogged down in the enormity and intensity of it all so that a whole long list of “I can’t”s starts keeping you up at night…
<I’m giving you the ol’ crooked eyebrow right now. Can you tell? Are you feelin’ it?>
[See Day 2]
…or throws you off into the rhubarb of your old Drama Queen/damsel-in-distress ways when you just wanted everyone else to do it all for you, break it down into what you can handle and achieve.
Acknowledge (and celebrate) even those small achievements.
Attempt stuff for yourself. You’re gonna surprise yourself with how capable and independent you really are.
Day 5: Do that thing you’ve been dodging
Maybe you want to write it off as small or seemingly insignificant, but if something is eating at you, or it becomes fuel for negativity, or a reason to continue to beat yourself up because you still haven’t done it –- for whatever reason out of several you’ve probably spent your valuable time thinking up…
Like, you’re lazy or you don’t know how and you’re too stupid to learn, because you’re too old and too tired and too this and too that…
[See Day 2]
Just do it…
Make that phone call or necessary appointment you’ve been avoiding. Fill out the forms. File the papers. Clean out that drawer that drives you nuts every time you open it looking for something specific. Purge your closet of all the things that don’t fit anymore. The ones that’ll never be retro cool again. Even the ones with the tags still attached after so many months or years.
Deal with or remove whatever is getting in the way of your flow.
Day 6: Get organized
When you’re gonna tackle something new, don’t you feel more calm – or at least less nervous — about it when you feel at least somewhat prepared?
Do some reading and some research. Ask any questions to someone you think seems pretty expert-like in the area. Practice your spiel for the puppy and your cacti.
Make a plan and get what you need to set yourself up for success.
Day 7: MOVE!
As in take action. However small it might be… do something. Do anything.
You simply can’t think and re-think and analyze and over-analyze everything through to some result. At some point, you gotta get outta your head and you just gotta DO.
How do you build muscle? You work it out, right? You move it, and challenge it with extra weight or resistance. Which actually involves tearing it down, so that it can build back up even stronger.
Same goes for building your confidence muscle.
If you’d say your confidence is kind of on shaky ground these days, remember back to a time when you did actually feel confident. When you were busy just being Confident You. What were you doing then, that you’re not doing right now? Join the be THAT woman Facebook Support Community and share what works for you, to help you step back into that space of being Confident You, so that other women can benefit from what you know now.
Awesome tips! You keep putting out these great posts…clever, useful and inspirational!
Thanks so much, Cat, for reading and for being here. That’s really great to hear.
Brilliant stuff, as you were talking to me 🙂
That’s great, Sura! Good to know. Thank you. Please check in again and let me know how you’re doing.