Sound the retreat!
Or maybe you’re a tad more subtle, and your way is to turtle or cocoon.
But it is our human nature to move away from situations and circumstances we find unpleasant, people who make us uncomfortable and trigger us, and outcomes that we deem to have zero business trying to insert themselves into our days.
Have you ever consciously realized you’re playing a frenzied game of dodge ball with certain thoughts? You know… those WTF moments that smack you upside the head, so you have to acknowledge that you are reverting back to previous days and your old ways of being a total drama queen with a gift for envisioning the absolute worst case scenario.
But now you can actually catch yourself.
Which causes you to subsequently panic and have a total freak-out in your own head.
NO! Don’t attach to that thought.
DO NOT attach to that thought!
DO NOT emotionally attach to that thought!!!
DO NOT EMOTIONALLY ATTACH…!!!!!!!!!!
Well, you probably think, “I’m totally facked. That’s what now.”
I have seen the “what if…” question take some flack, and I suppose justifiably so when approached from the context of the past. Like, when you lament, “What if I had only said this or done that or even not done anything at all…?”
But it’s personally one of my favourites when framed in possibility and opportunity.
Like, what if you shifted, pivoted, and mindfully moved towards what you really do want?
Sounds like a decent plan, yes?
But then enter the next dilemma: How clear are you on what you actually do want?
Have you been mostly known to say you don’t even have the foggiest clue?
In my recent post F*ck You …Thank you, I encouraged you to consider what guidance those worries about the future, your automatic reactions and really intense, negative emotions have for you.
For example, when you do find yourself feeling jealous or envious, what if that was a hint about those things you genuinely currently want for yourself?
What if you reconnected with the ambitions and dreams you had before other people — including yourself — heaped judgments, expectations and obligations all over them? What if you reminded yourself what gets you all jacked-up …in a good way? In the best way?
And what if you believed you were worthy of having them come true?
So, do your best to shut out all the noise around you to get really quiet and focus inward. Allow an image to form in your mind of where you want to be, say in the next year. How do you want a regular day in your life to look? What are you doing and saying? Who are you surrounded by? How are you feeling? Who are you being?
be THAT woman
Notice what makes you genuinely smile from the inside, what makes your soul light up, and then emotionally attach to those thoughts.
Then build that picture out with as much vivid detail as you possibly can. Paint it in with colour and texture, with scents and sounds, and hold on to that feeling.
Next, get it out of your own head. Share it with a trusted, supportive friend. Describe it to yourself in a voice memo on your phone. Create a vision board. Doodle, draw or mindmap it out. Anything and everything that gets you vibrating and excited.
Well, as excited as you let yourself get. Okay? Deal?
Disclaimer: With my most sincere apologies for turning around and risking being a bit of a Debbie Downer here, I will add a caution. You might as well prepare yourself for a bit of a ride, because It’s always wise to remember that, for all your best-intentioned focus and effort, achieving goals, growth and healing will NEVER happen in a nice, straight, uphill line, and strictly according to your plan.
Because, honestly, doesn’t it seem that an obstacle nearly always presents itself soon after you dare to get cocky enough to boast that you’ve finally got your shit together and actually seem to have a handle on things? Or is that just me? Because I suppose I personally have been known to moan about the Karma Gods having a truly wicked sense of humour.
For better or worse, it’s a belief I still hold a relatively strong attachment to. But I am at least now open to challenging it.
And if you can start to believe in yourself again AND have a bit of faith that some Higher Power – or whatever you believe in – absolutely has your back… are YOU open enough to even entertain the possibility that it might all turn out better than even you could have hoped? Or imagined?
Just, what if….?