Don’t bears use up their fat reserves when they hibernate?
Anyway…
This is not the blog post I intended to come out of my self-imposed fall, winter AND spring isolation with. (But stay tuned for that coming soon)
Plus, #I NEVER rant
I do have a Twitter account, but I don’t actually tweet. Nor do I profess to know how to use hashtags properly. Because I acknowledge that several will exceed the 140-character limit. And I will space them out here for readability’s sake.
#Twitter virgin
And #Wordpress won’t like it otherwise
But #I have a voice, so I’m damn well determined to continue… well, start again to use it.
#lets get loud
#thanks J. Lo
And something I saw on Facebook today left me feeling so sad, I just felt compelled to write.
I spent a good portion of the morning Sunday stressing over what I was going to post on Facebook for Mother’s Day. #kinda lame #worry too much
So much so, that I even let my coveted first coffee go cold. #who the hell am I?
I settled on a simple photo collage of some of my personal favourite moments for my own Mom and a separate heart-felt acknowledgement for my sisters, extended family and friends. #it’s all good
But what to say to women at large in general on my public page? #looking for profound wisdom nugget
My sweet mom-to-two-herself niece tagged me with a thoughtful wish, and in responding, I got pulled in to read the thread to the following comment.
Where women were actually turning on each other. #so not cool
On Mother’s Day, of all days. #seriously? #your timing sucks
In a nutshell, the mother of human babies was venting to self-proclaimed moms of fur babies to get a life and stop trying to horn in on her day, because they are simply not comparable. And, predictably, those moms of fur babies were reacting defensively. It became a long, drawn-out argument back and forth that also brought several others in and quickly degenerated into name-calling — #straight-up “bitch” — and even an outright adamant “fuck you.” #it got pretty ugly
Let’s face it… Mother’s Day isn’t a picture-perfect Norman Rockwell (or whoever paints such matters) portrait for everybody. It can be a really hard day for so many.
Senior parents who are only so lucky to get a phone call and a Facebook greeting from their adult children…
Sorry, Mom. I love you. <3 #bad daughter
Moms who felt obligated to compromise what they really wanted to do for their special day to make their kids and/or spouse happy. #give ‘til it hurts
Couples who are together but for the official legal proceedings, but who are anything but happy. #together only for the sake of the kids
Moms going through custody issues who won’t get to see their kids for angry, vindictive exes. #you hurt me so I’m gonna punish you forever
Parents estranged from their adult kids. #the hardest apology to accept is the one you never get
Moms who got their angel wings and are now with those who loved them only in memory and spirit. #I’d give anything for more time with you
Women who have survived the unthinkable loss of their own flesh and blood. #can’t begin to imagine your pain
There are the women who maybe dreamt from the days they were still kids themselves of being called Momma some day and, whether for biology or circumstance or the way their life unfolded, they just won’t hear it. #being childless does not make you worth less
And let’s certainly not forget those who don’t have kids by choice. It doesn’t mean they never second-guess their decision, especially on a day like today. #choices #life on your terms #live and let live
#everybody deserves respect, ffs
Personally, this body has never grown or birthed a child, for reasons that I share if, when and with whom I choose. Otherwise… well #its not actually your fucking business, thank you very much
I have a dog. I call her my baby. I love her to bits. #unconditional love #she makes me smile #grab joy where you find it
I can’t say I wasn’t tempted to get in on the… well, let’s face it, drama #former drama queen in recovery #DO NOT engage
But it really made me incredibly sad.
Sad for a woman who I could only rationalize feels unhappy or unappreciated enough in a role that maybe defines her entire existence, or whatever button it pushed with her, so that she grabbed on to what could be deemed, really, a Hallmark occasion for all her worth, as her one and only day to be special. But for some reason, she chose to lash out at the people she judged as being wrong for trying to share it with her, and thereby somehow deprive her of it or diminish its meaning for her.
#why you gotta bogart the occasion?
#make every day count
#when you judge a judger, aren’t you a judger too?
#everybody’s got an opinion, based on their perspective
#hurt people hurt people
#compassion
#put yourself in other people’s shoes
#judge less, love more
#do you want to be right, or be happy?
#there’s enough love to go around. Especially if you spread it too
Aren’t we all familiar with the notions that happiness is an inside job? And that we teach people how to treat us? So we set the standard by how we treat ourselves?
Say it with me…
I love and appreciate myself
#self-love
#you matter
#let’s make this world a better place
#be the change you want to see
And just in case you’re wondering “when exactly did Patty go all Pollyanna and love and light?
Well, I guess what I’m about to say just brings me down to that woman’s judgy level, but I am also entitled to my opinion and my feelings.
#don’t we just all want to feel heard? Maybe to feel significant?
We like to tease our Mom that she used to say…
#if you have nothing nice to say… shut the fuck up
She didn’t, but it’s always worth seeing the look on her face.
Thanks for being you, Mom.
Happy Mother’s Day.
Now I’m going to go re-watch “Rock Star” for, like, the hundredth time, because I missed most of it for writing this.
#EVERY DAY is I <3 Mark Wahlberg Day
And cuddle with my baby.
#let it go
#I am dog mom AF
#be unapologetically you
#it’s your life
#do what feeds your soul
Let’s face it… not everybody’s gonna like you, and not everybody’s gonna always agree with you or get you. But if you’re looking for kindred spirits to hang out with, join my be THAT woman support community and come hang out with us over at Patricia Dechant.