3 Ways a trip to the Doctor is kinda like going on a Date
What would you say are some of the greatest perks about being a woman? The diversity of styles to choose from to express one’s self when it comes to fashion and trends comes to mind. Playing with hair and makeup, too, if that’s your thing. Maybe you get a total charge from embracing your Tom Boy side and getting totally down and dirty outside working or playing — or dripping sweat at the gym — and then cleaning up all feminine-like, like only you can. Even occasionally leaning on the convenient PMS excuse to blame away your moodiness and wicked cravings for chocolate or nachos and beer, that you so rarely allow yourself to indulge in.
And with the perks comes… well, a certainly responsibility to yourself to maintain your health and this vessel you inhabit, and possibly your need/want for birth control. So… the inevitable appointment to see your ob/gyn.
Which, depending on the day, can feel utterly too similar to dating, that it’s barely even funny.
1. Taking about the same care with your personal grooming and hygiene
Okay. We all want to put our best… impression forward. It’s part of our human nature, to want to feel loved and accepted. By someone you’re just meeting for the first time. Or, like the doc, even someone that you only have to see once every other year now, I believe, so long as things are copacetic. (Nothing personal, Dr. M. As enjoyable as our quick visit was, can’t really say I missed you.)
As for the dating side… a good Girl Scout is always prepared, right? You want to be optimistic and positive, that everything is going to turn out great. Sealed with a… kiss? Besides, what exactly are you saving your good underwear for?
What exactly are you saving
your good underwear for, anyway?
2. Anticipatory seemingly self-prophetic dreams
If you’re susceptible to social anxiety in certain new or infrequent situations, maybe you tend to script out in your head how you think said meeting/date/appointment might go. Visualizing and setting your intention for how you’d ultimately like it to go. Fantasizing how it might play out better than you could ever even imagine, in your idealistic moments. Foretelling the doomsday, red-faced scenario when your Drama Queen side demands some attention.
Did your escape plan even play out so vividly in your dreams that you woke up with “we have a runner” over a P.A. system playing on repeat in your head? (Or is that a nightmare, then?)
Hmmm… begs the question: What drastic measures have you ever taken to get out of a bad date? Let me know in the comments, and watch for a future post.
3. Both involve a… launch??
Okay. This is how my sister’s mind works. It even made the doctor laugh and ask if she could add it to her calming-the-patient’s-nerves pre-procedure routine. And who doesn’t appreciate a little comedy in those moments?
Curious people (like me) questioned why the packaging for the required prescription was so big, compared to the actual size of the device, even so helpfully pictured on the back of the box.
Wise older sis nailed it. Well, because alluded-to device includes its own individual sterile “launching device.”
If you don’t actually know what I’m talking about or have not felt the rather intense, but mercifully short-lived discomfort of having your cervix manually manipulated… consider yourself lucky and blissfully innocent. If you are to experience same in the future, my best advice: Muscle relaxants are your friend.
Where exactly does a “launch,” then, tie in to a date? Well, if you’re hoping said date might be the launch of that new, exciting, healthy relationship you’ve been hoping and wishing for…
A stretch, you say? Well, that’s how my mind works.
Oh, and back to muscle relaxants… note that “drinks” are a popular choice of what to do, especially on a first date. Patti Stanger’s words immediately jump to mind: two-drink maximum. (Can’t help it. It’s the care-taker in me.)
Look for every opportunity you can find to not take yourself so seriously and to let humour get you through life’s inevitable uncomfortable moments. Even if you feel like you’re the only one laughing, you’re actually probably not alone.
And because drinking and driving is rightfully against the law, and drinking during the day in public in a professional environment is socially frowned-upon… at least a date can involve the prospect of including a cocktail before you’re ever asked to assume the position.
Kinda fell right off my soapbox there, didn’t I?
Remotely relatable? Come on over and join the Be THAT Woman support community on Facebook if you’re looking to connect with other women just like you, who’ve been there and can help you through it.
Hahaha! Omg – “We have a runner!” Back in my dating days I’d get “deer in the headlights” frozen. But the one time, I just slunk away murmuring powder room, grabbed a cab and got back to Uni. Thank GOD it was pre-cell phones!
Powder room… simple and effective. I’ve heard any bathroom-related excuse is worth trying for a woman to try to talk herself out of a speeding ticket with a male officer, too. Tho untested by me personally. Yeah, cell phones add a whole ‘nother dimension, don’t they?